The Steamboat Pilot & Today

Posted on October 15 at 8:21 p.m.
On The Paradox of War

Kelsey's paragraph was very intriguing to me. It was very interesting to think about the irony of war. First, you see a boy, forced to grow up through a war that isn't his to fight. Then you see him smiling and laughing while he is walking into the midst of utter destruction. Another piece of irony she uses is the idea of fighting a war for peace. How wierd is it that we kill each other over the desire of something that does not include war. She also uses a lot of imagery. She incorperates similies very well, and the whole paragraph seems to flow very nicely. I can tell that she put a lot of time, thought, and effort into this assignment.

-Matthia Duryea

Posted on October 15 at 8:12 p.m.
On A Moment in War

I think ricker did a good job at painting a picture for the audience. He explained what the photo was about without using exact words. He did not use words like, in the photo he... or the picture shows... rather, he created an interesting story using a picture he knew almost nothing about. Some things he could do to improve would be to come up with a stronger opening sentence, and maybe use more colorful language when explaining the situations the soldier went through. This would better appeal to the senses of the audience. Overall, I think that he wrote a fantastic piece!

-Matthia Duyea

Posted on October 11 at 9:57 p.m.
On Our Unknown Heroes

I really liked how she made it clear that the soldiers are unknown heroes and how they fight for our country and most get no acknowledgement for their risks they take, in order to keep us safe. JR

Posted on October 11 at 9:51 p.m.
On Stranded

I really liked how he put a lot of detail into his writing. It made it really easy to picture the story in my head. I also liked how he explaned the emotions of the soldier and not just what is going on in the war. JR

Posted on October 3 at 3:50 p.m.
On Desert storm hard core story

Finally after three straight days of walking, the solider gets a moment to sit down and relax. Like fellow solders, he cant get the thought of his family out of his mind, but the thing that really makes him want to go home is all the fallen solders that were once his friends. Pulling off his graffiti green helmet to wash his muddy face he’s trying not to be shaken in by the loud artillery that was going of beside him. Then picking up his helmet to cross off another month in war; a war he thought would never end: pointless. If only he could be wounded in battle then he could go home and tell his little brother not to enroll in this mess, a tear falls down his cheek, falling on his combat boots. Hearing the sergeant’s call to head out, he puts on his helmet and picks up his backpack and gun, trying to convince himself to be a man and fight or maybe even die for his country.
By:Sierra R.

Posted on October 2 at 9:27 p.m.
On is the end near

I really liked how Jaime's paragraph was thought provaking, it was interesting and intriguing. She gave me an idea of what soldiers think about, and how they feel. She described the soldiers picture well by showing his personality, and making him more real by giving him feelings.
~Jayde Mattox

Posted on October 2 at 9:23 p.m.
On The Fear of a Moment

I really liked Ian's paragraph. It gave me a clear picture not only of what the picture showed, but also what the inside story of the picture was. He did a great job of describing in depth of what soldiers do, and how it would feel to be them.
~Jayde Mattox

Posted on October 2 at 8:24 p.m.
On 25 Days

I think this is great. It is very easy for me to relate to because i have never held a gun or had hot lead wiz by my head. And i am thankful for the soliders who do have to hold a gun for us. I like how the writing is to the point. The only thing that could make it better would be a variety of sentence sturctures.

Emi Birch

Posted on October 2 at 8:19 p.m.
On Crowded isolation

I think this is really good. This paragraph really shows how the soldier feels about the war. I like how you told it from the view point of the soldier, and your writing style really made it easy to understand what the slodie was feeling. I like the view point you took as far as how soldiers feel about war in general.

Emi Birch

Posted on October 2 at 7:46 p.m.
On Crowded isolation

I like this one. It gives you a very vivid picture and insight to his mind. He must be going a bit crazy to be talking to his helmet. - erika