The Steamboat Pilot & Today: Thoughts on war: A Moment in War

A Moment in War

Posted by Bell on October 11, 2007

Eleven months and seven days ago a young man enlisted into what he thought would be an adventure, a new life, and a career. But he did not know of what he would see or do. He saw his friends die before him as he drove the tank that lead them into war. Men shot at him as he walked through run down towns and he killed those who stood in his way. He stops to think for a moment, to get away from the terror in which he has lived through. He thinks of how he has done his part and how all the dead soldiers who were a brother, a son, a father, or a husband, left their loved ones as he did to save strangers. He prays to God, the fighting is over bring us home.

Johnathon Ricker

Comments

Posted by Bell on October 15, 2007 at 8:12 p.m.

I think ricker did a good job at painting a picture for the audience. He explained what the photo was about without using exact words. He did not use words like, in the photo he... or the picture shows... rather, he created an interesting story using a picture he knew almost nothing about. Some things he could do to improve would be to come up with a stronger opening sentence, and maybe use more colorful language when explaining the situations the soldier went through. This would better appeal to the senses of the audience. Overall, I think that he wrote a fantastic piece!

-Matthia Duyea